Deja Vu All Over Again

"Tossing 35 pitches in the bullpen last Saturday felt like 1000," Cole Hamels.

Meanwhile Ruben Amaro has "zero concern" of this being a larger issue for Cole Hamels.




Gooooood Rube! Gooood for youuuu! That makes 1 of us.

 

 

Wrap your head around both those statements.

I'm upset about a few things here. I'm upset that Cole Hamels isn't healthy. I'm upset that Ruben Amaro continues to alienate the fanbase by being smug (smugness is not a good quality). I'm upset that we gave Hamels $144 million and Ruben is taking it in stride that Hamels is going to miss April after having zero health issues last year. I'm upset every time I hear the word set-back. I'm upset whenever I hear "no timetable".

Most of all I'm upset about the lack of transparency from this organization. It's like the Phillies actively engage in dicking around their fan base. How did the news come out on the first day of Spring Training that Cole Hamels wasn't ready to go? At that point every one was shrugging it off like it was no big deal and Hamels was 8-10 days behind schedule. Two weeks later here we are. Apparently Cole feels like his arm is about to fall off after throwing just 2 innings worth of pitches in the bullpen.

How are alarms not sounding?!

We should know the Phillies don't operate like that. They've already put us through this type of saga before. Two years in a row of it actually, with a player who was just as important as Hamels.

Chase Utley didn't play his first game in 2011 until May 23rd. Nobody seemed to mind that much that year because the Phillies were a pitching juggernaught. After finishing the season fairly healthy we assumed Chase was ready to go for 2012. I wrote a piece about how he was going to have to carry the load in 2012 with Ryan Howard recovering from the torn Achillies.

Before we knew what hit us the Phillies were halfway through a disatrous season without Chase or Ryan stepping on the field. Chase had a rare degenerative knee condition known as Andrew Bynum disease. It's where your knees have very little cartilige and they don't heal or work properly. Ryan's wound from the incision on his Achillie's got infected. You know, because it wasn't that important to be monitoring that sort of thing so the Phils just let it go.

Anyway, this Hamels situation is starting to feel eerily similar to the Chase Utley situation. I can't sit here and put a ton of blame on the Phils' medical staff, but I'd start taking a long look at it and seeing if anything better can be done to protect these guys who have $100 plus million invested in them.



As for a spring training update. As Sarge would say, Oh boy.

The Future?

Hell hath no fury like a Ruben scorned

Since Ruben Amaro began his tenure as the Phillies' GM his moves have always been to win now. His game plan(s) never really seemed to involve thinking beyond the current year. His moves were meant to better the team at that point without much regard for bettering the future. Never did he actually deliberately sabotage the Phillies' future, until last week.

In last year's amateur draft, the Phils selected Oregon State pitcher Ben Wetzler in the 5th round. Picking college kids who have not graduated is always a calculated risk because there's the chance that they will stay in college. It's commonplace to not be able to sign a kid so it should not come as a surprise when it happens. Wetzler decided to stay for one more chance at winning the College World Series after making it last year.

Of course, the NCAA being the giant hypocrisy that they are, will not allow players like Wetzler to use any legal representation (an agent) to negotiate a contract with a Major League ball club and still retain their amateur status. So if a kid is on the fence about returning to school or signing his contract it would be beneficial for the player to not use any representation. This is so wrong at face value it makes my head spin, but rules are rules and the NCAA loves them some dumb ones. 

Anyway, 20-22 year old kids generally lack knowledge when it comes to negotiating the terms of a baseball contract so it makes sense for them to get some outside help. Wetzler did this. He did break a rule. He used an agent to help layout terms with the Phillies so he could be as well informed as possible to make a decision. Considering he did not actually sign the contract it's really a no harm no foul situation. The Phillies get a replacement pick for not being able to sign Wetzler, and he technically didn't sign anything so he can go back to Oregon State without any repercussion. 

Unless of course the Phillies' GM decides to act like a scorned 17 year old that got dumped right before prom. Then you're in trouble if you're Wetzler. So Ruben went and decided it was a good idea to inform Oregon State and the NCAA that Wetzler had used representation during his negotiations with the Phillies. Uh-oh! A really dumb NCAA rule was broken! Let's punish a kid who is just trying to do the best he can for himself. The ruling came down last week that Wetzler will need to miss 20% of the season due to this rules violation.

I just don't get it. This was a nothing to gain and a ton to lose scenario Ruben has decided to play out. This move was spiteful, petty, and shortsighted. My mind is boggled. 

Put yourself in the shoes of any college kid getting drafted who isn't sure if he wants to make his way through the minors or stay in college another year. If you're that kid, do you want to go deal with the guy who just tattled to the NCAA about something I'm sure 1000s of kids have gotten away with over the years? To quote Kevin McCallister, "I don't think so."

I equate this to a boyfriend who just got dumped by his girlfriend so he decided to post every scandalous picture she ever sent him online. Every one found out about it to the point where every one knew this guy was an asshole for his actions. Do you think he's going to have an easier or more difficult time getting a girlfriend after that?

To make matters worse the Phillies have stayed virtually silent while this whole mess has been unfolding. Virtually silent other than being stubborn and arrogant while showing no remorse. Check out the tweets from Phillies' beat writer Matt Gelb regarding the Amaro's statements. 

When you come out of an ethics issue looking worse than the NCAA you are not doing your job properly. Thanks a lot Ruben. You're doing great work here.

The Closer

Looks like a good guy right?

 

 

A few days ago closer Jonathan Papelbon held court for an interview at the Phillies' spring training complex in Clearwater, Florida. Some how most of the articles published in the Inquirer forced spin on to the garbage spewing out of this idiot's mouth. The articles had titles like "Papelbon vows to be a more positive influence" and "Papelbon says he'll be more upbeat this year".

Gimme a break.

Were the Phillies' writers not willing to throw this guy under the bus yet? Did they not listen to what he had to say? The transcripts are published right there in the paper. Here are a few quotes from possibly the biggest asshole in all of baseball:

"At times, when you lose 12 games in a row and you're in Detroit and you say you didn't come here for this, that gets spinned in a couple of directions. For me, I didn't come here to lose. I came here to win. I came here to win a world championship. I don't take losing very well."

"My role is an intensity-driven role, so on nights when the ballpark is full and it’s a close game, that’s what makes me tick and we’re in a race. That’s the big reason I’ve always decided to be a closer is when the dial is turned up and there is something on the line, I just seem to be at my best."

"When it’s a day game in New York and you’re 12 games behind that dial ain’t really turned up. That ain’t really how I go."

Are you shitting me?!? I guess that $14 million a year to play a game for a living isn't doing it for ya, huh Jon?

I mean come on. This guy, who has signed the richest reliever contract of all time, is saying point blank that he can't get going for the Phillies if they aren't playing well.  That's the definition of amateur and last I checked this guy is supposed to be a professional. How is the Philadelphia media not skewering him for comments nobody should ever make?

He can talk all he wants about being more positive and how his famous "I didn't come here for this" line from last year was taken the wrong way. The bottom line is Papelbon is benign on a good team and malignant on a team any less than that. How do you think that's going to go for the Phllies this year?

If he comes out firing and saves 20 straight or something along those lines to start the season I'll be there rooting for him. It just doesn't feel like he has it in him, and then him blowing saves turns into the Phillies losing games. And Jonathan Papelbon didn't come here for that.

New Phillies

The Phillies signed this guy.

Just before noon today I sent a text to my buddies asking, "Is there a reason we aren't signing Burnett?"

My friends met this text with skepticism but within the next half hour the news broke that the Phillies had gone ahead and signed 37 year old AJ Burnett for 1 year and 16 million dollars. I can't say that I ever liked AJ Burnett, he always seemed like a prick to me but I'm going to liken this signing to the Cleveland Indians bringing in Jack Parkman.

"It's funny how a new uniform can change your opinion on a guy."

"He's still a dick."

The thing is, the Phillies needed AJ Burnett. They needed him before the worst news of the season hit. Yes, the Phillies got borderline horrible news today, the first day of pitchers and catchers, that Cole Hamels would not be ready for the beginning of the season due to bicep tendinitis and general soreness in his throwing arm. Excuse me I'm going to go stick my head in an oven. More on that later.

Back to Burnett. Like I said, the Phils needed Burnett before the fan base got a gut punch before Valentine's Day. After Hamels and Lee the Phillies rotation looks like this: Kyle Kendrick, Roberto Hernandez/Fausto Carmona, Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez, Jonathan Pettibone, and or Ethan Martin. The Phils weren't exactly starting the season with the 4 headed monster they boasted at the start of 2011.

So in Burnett the Phillies get a proven commodity to eat hopefully 200 innings that were going to be staggeringly more questionable before his addition. This is Ruben Amaro's second pinning of hope to a guy over the age of 35 who helped the Pittsburgh Pirates get to their first postseason since Big Head himself was in town. Again, just like Marlon Byrd, Ruben will hope Burnett can duplicate the success he had last year.

Since the 2008 season Burnett hasn't pitched less than 186 innings or made fewer than 30 starts. He's 10th on the active innings pitched list. He's a strike out pitcher, leading the league in strikeouts per 9 innings last year at 9.8. The Phillies got better with the addition of AJ Burnett, you can't deny that.

So Ruben threw $16 million at him? Feels like a big number for a guy who's closer to 40 than 30, but it's not our money, and it's a 1 year deal. The window of opportunity for this team is an inch away from slamming shut on Ruben's fingers and he might as well start pulling the stops to give The Big Piece and company as much of a chance as he can.

Back to Hamels, I'm still doubled over. Cole gave an interview yesterday and sounded optimistic and that he was only "8 to 10 days behind his teammates (in preparedness)." Cole has not had a shaky injury history but it's just not news you want to hear. It doesn't sound like a finite injury. And the timing of announcing it was just terrible PR for the Phillies. Let's have a clue on better timing for affecting your fan base.

Stairs at the Wing Bowl

With all the news today regarding player development, the other headline for Phillies fans was the announcement of Matt Stairs and Jamie Moyer as the new color analysts. You knew Moyer just couldn't stay away.

I don't want to say that the Phillies, and I'm sure to some extent Comcast, whiffed on these two guys. As you can see Stairs will probably be capable of mixing it up a bit. Moyer is that guy that who was around forever, forever ago. He should be able to bring an exorbitant amount of experiences to the booth, let's see how that translates to his analysis.

Moyer made his first start against Steve Carlton

I still think that John Kruk or Mitch WIlliams would have been much better for the job. Those two guys have been on TV for years now and the transition could have been seamless with two exciting and interesting personalities in the booth. Not that Moyer and Stairs should be boring, but they will both be doing their first broadcasting of any kind. There's a chance it doesn't go all that smooth. And of course it's TMac not Harry. Sigh.

It's funny to think about how these two guys wound up here. Moyer is a somewhat obvious choice as a guy who had a nice twilight to the twilight of his career here. He's also a local kid who graduated from Souderton High School and starred at St. Joe's. But Stairs. Stairs is here for one hit. One massive home run.  If that link doesn't give you a good feeling, you're not a Phillies fan.

Who's Next?

Arguably, the biggest move the Phils made this offseason was firing more than long-time broadcaster Chris “Wheels” Wheeler (Biggest moves used to be signing guys like Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee). Gary “Sarge” Matthews was also shown the door. Wheels had been in the booth longer than most people who are reading this have been alive. He came on in 1977 and it’s the first year since 1971 that one of the three mainstays of Phillies broadcasting, the venerable Harry Kallas and of course Richie Ashburn, are not going to call the Phillies on television.

Standard

That’s quite a run for Wheels.

It was an unceremonious dump for a guy who probably deserved more despite the fact that almost nobody liked him. I’m not a Wheels apologist but he probably didn’t deserve to go out quite like that. Say what you want about Wheels – he was a know-it-all, he stated the obvious, his shtick was just tired – the man has forgotten more about baseball than any of us will ever know. He was well liked within the organization and not bad at his job. It was his time to go according to Comcast Sports Net, who dictated the firing after agreeing to give the Phils $2.5 billion over the next 25 years to broadcast their games.

“OK” the Phils said. Can’t blame em.

The thing that irked me about this whole thing is that Tom McCarthy is getting to keep his job. As much as people don’t like Wheels is how much I don’t like TMac. I don’t like how he calls games. Listen for it this year but I swear he can’t judge the ball off the bat. He struggles on home run calls and the inflection of his voice can make you think Cole got Bryce Harper to pop it up when all he did was foul it back. Aside from that, he’s just bland. He’s vanilla ice cream with a side of vanilla. Comcast should have just cleaned house and brought in a whole new team.

We’re about 2 months away from the beginning of the season and the Phils still have not announced a replacement for Wheels to be the color guy along side McCarthy.

The Dream Team

My dream set-up has already been thwarted because TMac lives, but man, what I wouldn’t give to have Scott Franzke’s deadpan egging on of a probably drunk Larry Andersen. If you can listen to the Phils on the radio, do yourself a favor. Franzke and LA have great banter and LA cracks jokes, tells it like it is, and Franzke is the perfect foil who calls a better game than TMac. LA is too much of a wild card these days for it too happen but if the Phils aren’t going to be any good at least I could laugh my way through the tears with those two. Hopefully the new color guy is good enough that I don’t fight with my DVR to try and sync the radio show this year.

The next best scenario would involve a member of the 93 Phillies squad, a few of which are already on the national television scene. I doubt it’s realistic but John Kruk would be my ideal replacement for Wheels. Since his playing days Kruk has toned down the mullet look and proven to be an intelligent baseball mind as an analyst for ESPN. He would instantly add credibility to the booth and there’s a 5% chance he’d be bad or no one would like him.

Another loud personality from the memorable 93 team, Mitch Williams, would be a nice fit. The Wild Thing is a bit brash with his opinions if you follow him on the MLB Network or read about his dustup with Lenny Dykstra recently, but he would also be some one fun to have calling the Phillies for us every night.

Both of those guys are probably pipe dreams that would have to receive Godfather offers to take what would equate to a step down in the broadcasting world. They are both national analysts that have cushy studio gigs where they don’t have to have the same travel schedule as a Major League baseball team.

No, if  I know the Phillies they’ll replace Wheels with some vanilla decision to couple with McCarthy. Nothing too risky to shake up the more stodgy Phils fans.

Yet another member of the 93 team’s name has been bandied about as a replacement. The new coach of Triple A Lehigh Valley, Mickey Morandini, has been contacted to gauge his interest. It was a pleasure hearing Harry Kallas roll More – An – Dini off his tongue every night. Mickey would probably be decent but not as fun as the names already mentioned.

Ricky Bottalico’s name keeps coming up. Darren Daulton probably couldn’t handle it with his health issues. Jamie Moyer is probably dying to get back on the road away from his wife and kids. Curt Schilling could use the money. Lenny Dkystra is turning everything he touches into gold then completely f___ing it up beyond all repair while treating people like shit and doing a ton of drugs. Pete Incaviglia is competing in arm wrestling championships. Danny Jackson has become Tim Burton’s prop guy. Jim Eisenrich is judging state-level beauty pageants. Terry Mulholland is traveling the country teaching lefties the step-off-pick-off.  Dave Hollins is traveling the country teaching kids how not to throw from third to first.  

Who knows who will be next at this point?

They're Messing With Us, Right?

No Doubt Craig Bevan has something to say on this.

A few texts started to trickle into my phone yesterday regarding former Phillie, Bobby Abreu.

“They’re gonna sign him to a minor league deal!?”

Incredulous, I had to check twitter the first chance I got to see if this astounding news could possibly be true.  Sure enough, Matt Gelb, Phillies beat writer, confirmed these rumors with back-to-back tweets. For good measure, national writer and former Phillies' beat writer, Jayson Stark re-tweeted Jerry Crasnick’s report that the Phillies had indeed, signed Bobby Abreu. The deal is for $800,000 and an invite to Spring Training.

Just try and wrap your head around this one while I enlighten you with some insight and thoughts on this signing.

First thing you’d want to do when checking out a free agent the Phillies just signed is see what his stats were the prior year. Here’s the problem: Thirty-nine-year-old Bobby Abreu did not play Major League Baseball in 2013. Let it sink in. Okay, okay, calm enough yet? What’d he do in 2012 you wonder? He managed to play in 100 games mostly with the Dodgers (8 with the Angels, 8?) and hit .242 with 3 home runs and 24 RBI in 257 plate appearances. Basically, Bobby was on his last legs in 2012.

Somehow, the brain trust that is the Phillies’ front office thought bringing Bobby in to possibly platoon in the outfield was a good idea. At face value, it’s a downright terrible idea. The Phillies roster was already ancient by MLB standards and they managed to push that average age up a few ticks with this signing. What’s Jamie Moyer doing you think right now? Pick him up!

It is unlikely that Bobby will add much value to this ball club, but it’s also just a peculiar signing because of the relationship that he had with the fan base when he spent parts of 9 seasons here. The seasons Bobby spent here were mostly depressing times for the Phils. It was Scott Rolen and Bobby and not much else. When he was here, he was a helluva ballplayer. He was that rare 5 tool player mixing a combination of speed, power, average, arm, and (sort of) defense.

Who could forget the show Bobby put on winning the 2005 Home Run Derby?

It wasn’t Bobby’s skills that made him the subject of most fans’ ire. It was his attitude. Even though I’m sure he did, Bobby never looked like he gave a shit about what happened. Even when he was beating out infield hits it looked like he was lollygagging. He never seemed like he was trying hard and always seemed disinterested. And going after fly balls that got near the wall? Forget it! The warning track might as well have been a moat. As you can imagine, this type of insolence did not fit well in a town that was lauding players like Allen Iverson and Brian Dawkins at the time when Bobby was playing well. He was not the blue collar athlete this town loves to glorify.

Still, none of that stopped Bobby from putting up serious numbers year, after year, after year. Here’s a few Bobby Abreu stats that will just about blow your mind. He had 7 consecutive seasons and 8 out of 9 with at least 100 RBI (5 of them with the Phillies). He needs 13 home runs to become the third player ever with 300 home runs and 400 steals, the other two are Barry Bonds and his father Bobby. His career batting average is .292 and he finished 6 seasons above .300. He had two 30/30 years (30 home runs 30 steals) and 7 20/20 seasons. He ranks 23^rd all-time in doubles with 565.

Then comes the reason I think Bobby was actually signed to play for the 2014 Phillies. On-base percentage. Bobby Abreu is what I like to call a professional hitter. Aside from Chase Utley, the Phillies have really lacked a guy who knows how to work an at bat since the departure of Jayson Werth.  As my friends know I like to say often, he’s got an eye like DiMaggio. He doesn’t give away at-bats by chasing bad pitches early in the count. He makes pitchers work, something I have been complaining for years about the Phillies not doing. Bobby’s career on-base percentage is a Hall-of-Fame-esque .396. He had 8 consecutive seasons with 100 walks or more. Eight. Of active players, Bobby ranks 9^th for career on base percentage.

There is some knowledge and know-how in that head of Bobby Abreu’s that needs to be imparted on every single member of this Phillies’ offense. Most notably Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard. It remains to be seen if you can teach those old dogs new tricks but I  have to believe in my (homer) mind that Ruben Amaro brought Bobby Abreu back in to the fold to teach these guys how to draw a walk. How to identify pitches. How to be better hitters.  That’s the silver-lining, if you can find one, to the Bobby Abreu signing.

Alas, I’d be remiss if I did not mention my disgust with the two other recent Phillies re-tread signings. Both of which, I’m more upset with than the Abreu situation.

At this point the Phillies have a dearth of pitching talent, which (sort of) explains why they felt the need to bring back Kyle Kendrick. Kendrick was headed to arbitration this year and I guess the Phillies desperately wanted to avoid that scene and decided to go ahead and give Kyle Kendrick $7.6 million for the 2014 season. This is another let it sink in moment. Seven. Point. Six. Million. for a guy who’s second half stats last year look like this: 11 games started, 2-7, 6.91 ERA, 44 runs given up in 57.1 innings,  opponents hit .333 off of him, and he had a 1.69 WHIP.

I could see bringing him back because he does have a proven track record better than those numbers, but for $7.6 million?!? You can’t tell me we couldn’t pick a guy off a trash heap of mediocre MLB starters, pay him $3 million, and have him be just as effective as whatever we’re going to get out of Kyle Kendrick this year. I just threw up everywhere.

Moving on.

It was no secret last year that I had had it with John Mayberry Jr. He had an outstanding second half of 2011 when the Phllies were going to win 100 games with our without his production. Since then he’s been afforded every opportunity to be an everyday player in this league and he’s proven that he is more of a liability than an asset. He has terrible at bats and his stats are borderline atrocious over a solid amount of playing time the last two years. He’s at times clueless on the base baths. And while he is a decent outfielder, he insists on diving at ball after ball that he has no business diving at. It’s infuriating. Still! The Phillies managed to “avoid arbitration” and signed him to a 1 year deal worth $1.6 million.

Meanwhile, the player the Phillies received in the Hunter Pence deal from 2012, Nate Schierholtz, was jettisoned after his two month tour with the Phillies. He was picked up by the Cubs last year for $2.25 million and here are his stats, with Mayberry’s right below (Note, you can click on the picture to enlarge it).

That's a nice 2013 for Nate Schierholtz

Not too good for John Mayberry in 2012 and 2013

That is a big stinking whiff Ruben. I hope you know what you’re doing because it sure doesn’t feel like you do.

Til next time..

Fast Break - A Comparative Essay

THE SET UP

For years now, I have been cultivating the idea that two iconic movies of my upbringing are virtually the same exact movie with slightly different concepts. The more I have thought about it, the more obvious the parallels between these two (brilliant) films are. When you break it down the way I am about to do, you will realize that 2001’s original “The Fast and the Furious” is nearly a carbon copy of 1991’s “Point Break.” From the lead actors, Keanu Reeves and Paul Walker, to the infiltration of a band of criminals who double as a group of extreme sports junkies, these two films run congruently from beginning to end.

Let’s give a little background on these two films, for those of you who do not have any idea what I am talking about. In both of these movies, an FBI agent needs to go undercover in order to prevent a string of crimes from happening. In Point Break, Keanu (this is how I will refer to him because its cooler to say than Reeves) plays the undercover agent who must ingratiate himself with a band of surfers he believes to be criminals. Fast forward 10 years later, and Paul Walker is asked to go undercover to penetrate a close-knit clique of street racers to put an end to another string of crimes.

PROTAGONISTS

Now that the basic plots of these movies have been established, let’s delve into the nuances of these films that make them so alike. First of all, take a look at the two leading actors and the juncture they were at in their careers when these movies came out. The movies were made 10 years apart and 9 years separate Paul (1973 DOB) and Keanu (1964 DOB). Keanu was coming off several non-memorable starring roles and bit parts in the late 80s. The movies of note he had done were the two Bill and Ted Adventures, which were secretly not awful, but openly not great. The second one was atrocious, but the first one had it’s moments. Meanwhile, Paul Walker was building up some ridiculous street cred in the late 90s with supporting roles in some of my favorite movies of that time. He played Reese Witherspoon’s suddenly horny boyfriend in Pleasantville, he wound up being the assistant manager at Wal-Mart and coaching high school football after blowing out his knee as star quarterback Lance Harbor in Varsity Blues, and who could forget the “sauced up” Paul Walker as the foil to Freddy Prinze Jr. in 1999s She’s All That? When you take a look at the body of work these two had put together prior to what I like to call - their star-making roles - they both hadn’t shown a lot of talent acting wise. It was literally the first role for each of them that involved the following things: a starring role, a plausible plot, decent to terrific co-stars, and a sizeable Hollywood budget. How would these two up-and-coming pretty boy actors handle their roles?

           

It is hard to sit here and tell you that these guys “killed” their roles. Keanu was dealt a slightly better hand with his co-stars, but he holds his own in this movie. He has to run the gamut of emotions from, trying to fit in with is new veteran partner (Gary Busey!), to duping a girl into falling in love with him (Lori Petty), and of course the intense on going mind-fuck that the film’s antagonist (Patrick Swayze!) is trying to employ throughout the entire film. You get the sense that Keanu is trying to act in these movies by the way he talks, rather than it just coming naturally. His voice always has that kind of dazed, where am I? quality to it. He is believable as an athlete during a beach football scene as well as many surfing scenes, which doesn’t say much for acting, but is nice from the viewer’s perspective  of whether you connect with him or not. Walker, on the other hand, is left with pretty paltry dialog and what seems to be a bit of a tired script. Most of Paul Walker’s lines can be considered “one-liners” and are just kind of slapped together. He does not seem to have much emotional depth, but at least he did not lie to Jordana Brewster in order to get her into bed, which is the route Keanu went. These two are the stars, and the protagonists of these films, but they are far from what makes them iconic rewatchable movies.

           

CONGRUENCY

Several things jump out at me as basically being the exact same plot device for these movies. We already went over the main characters and how alike they are, but the similarities do not stop there.

• Point Break – Bank robbers dressed like ex-Presidents are elusive and cannot be caught in California.

• The Fast and the Furious – Hijackers driving supped up cars are terrorizing California’s highways.

• PB – These bank robbers double as serious surfers who are always looking for the next extreme thing.

• TFATF – These hijackers also earn money as illegal street racers pushing their cars to extreme limits.

• PB – Keanu cannot know for certain that these surfers are also the bank robbers so he befriends this crew in order to find out more information.

• TFATF – Paul cannot know for certain that these street racers are also the hijackers so he befriends this crew in order to find out more information.

• PB – An intense invasion occurs at a house thought to be that of the bank robbers. Wrong house! Crazy gun and knife fights ensue between Keanu and his crew and Anthony Kiedis and his crew. Great cameos done by members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers over the years.

• TFATF – An intense invasion occurs at a house thought to be that of the hijackers. Wrong house! Johnny Tran’s house gets ran through by police on Paul’s call. This creates even more animosity between Tran and the hijacking crew.

THE ANTI – HERO

The two biggest co-stars of the film are Dominic Torreto (Vin Diesel) and Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) and this is where the scales start to tip in Point Break’s favor as to what is actually the better movie. Vin Diesel was relatively unknown at the time with credits from Saving Private Ryan (small role), Chronicles of Riddick, and Boiler Room. Meanwhile, Swayze was a bonafide superstar by the early 90s coming off brilliant roles that saw him display his broad spectrum of talent, from Dirty Dancing, to Road House, to Ghost.  He did not disappoint in his role as a Zen bank robber on a constant search for the ultimate adrenaline rush.

Once again, the dialogue and depth of characters in TFATF is lacking. It’s partly by design because this movie is just non-stop testosterone and doesn’t feel the need to get weighed down by things like serious plot devices and character studies. TFATF places family values above all else, although family status must be earned, and then one-liners keep the movie flowing. Meanwhile, Swayze’s character is one of the more shifty and hard to pin down bad guys you’ll see in a movie. One minute he’s bringing Johnny Utah into his crew and making him feel like he’s part of the inner circle, the next he’s kidnapping Tyler (Lori Petty) as leverage against Johnny. All the while he’s got this crazy look in his eye that makes him seem engaged and distant somehow at the same time. He’s completely in the moment but also thinking about his next move which is what sets Swayze apart from Vin Diesel and ultimately has you rooting for the bad guy for most of the film.

INTANGIBLES

The first intangible is more a matter of opinion / preference. They are the main concepts that aid the characters in traversing through the movie. TFATF uses street racing and supped up cars as the background for having the main characters in the movie meet. PB uses surfing and to a lesser extent sky diving as their vehicle. The nod here goes to TFATF because it borderline became a cultural phenomenon to put clear lights on the back of your Honda Civic to go along with your new exhaust system. Seriously, TFATF came out right when I was starting to drive and everybody wanted to modify their car to “trick it out” in some type of way in the early 2000s. Not this guy, but you all remember that phase. That doesn’t happen without Paul and Vin doing their thing. I wasn’t quite as with the times in the early 90s but I doubt there was all that much of a spike in surfing after PB.

The second intangible leans heavily to the side of PB. And that intangible comes in the form of one Angelo Pappas, Gary Busey’s character. Pappas is the “don’t take no shit from anybody” veteran of the Bureau that Utah cuts his teeth with. Busey always brings a real zest to his characters that I enjoy, whether he was playing the bad guy in the original Lethal Weapon, or crazed lune Lieutenant Drake Savage in Black Sheep, he rarely disappoints. PB was not an exception here, plus he just really enjoyed meatball sandwiches, but who doesn’t? TFATF did not have an analogous character to Busey and therefore it fell short in this intangible.

Both of these flicks are without a doubt “guy” movies and like any good guy movie there needs to be a little bit of eye candy floating around just to spice things up. The edge here goes to TFATF because Kit from A League of Their Own might be able to generate some interest, but her 90s look feels dated and doesn’t translate all that well today. Meanwhile, Jordana Brewster and Michelle Rodriguez, along with numerous floozies that flocked to street races held down this aspect for TFATF.

Swayze is Reagan - Reagan is Swayze

The heists each band of criminals pulled off both had unique aspects. Of course, in TFATF precision driving in matching black Honda Civics allowed Dom and his crew to overtake tractor-trailers on highways that were carrying loads of expensive merchandise that they could then fence for serious cash. Bodhi and his crew basically just robbed banks, but the nod is given to them for their imaginative disguises they used to conceal their identities during the robberies. The Ex-Presidents were good at what they did.

CONCLUSION

Both movies end in a somewhat similar fashion. Paul Walker’s character had become so close with Vin Diesel's Torreto that he virtually allowed this known criminal to race away in the final scene without attempting to detain him. PB ends a year or so after the climax with Keanu catching up with Swayze on a beach in Australia during “the 50 year storm”. The waves are mammoth and Swayze has basically been waiting his entire life to ride them. Keanu gets the better of him but winds up letting Swayze go out and essentially surf to his death in the eye of the storm.

Well, we’re just shy of 2000 words for this comparison and I think my hand has been tipped as to which of the movies I prefer. I think Swayze’s performance alone sealed it for me. There was just no character in either movie that captured you quite like the wild-eyed Bodhi did. Swayze was the true embodiment of a bank robber crossed with extreme sports junkie life philosopher (No really, he was). Not too many characters come around like him and not too many people could make you believe the character the way Swayze did.

Thanks for staying with me. It was a wild ride.

RIP - Paul Walker 
RIP - Patrick Swayze